Every time I pick up a T-shirt, all the issues resolve themselves

You suck at Dota — I'm going to check you suck a dick

Gave an old iPhone as a Christmas present and had to suck it up like a new one

What kind of work are you going to do dressed like that? Oh, we're quarantined

Almost blew me off on the first date, but the situation was saved by sex

Friend girl is a distance learner, but misses classes because of sex

I got a guy with an awesome body to let me go to a rock concert

Didn't let me play The Witcher — took the keyboard and sat on top of it

Slutty wife invited her neighbor into the bedroom and took hold of his dick

Blew the guy's mind on the first day of self-isolation, but at least she sucked

Called an ambulance and had a domestic coronavirus test